inherited meiosis of thoughts

i carry an alarm clock for a bomb in my bed,
un-detonating it just before seconds run out,             i let myself become a survivor,
                                                                                                                        - again

it was an unmown sun holding the tendril of the sky against me,          like grudges in black and brown
like a gun against my head,            asking me to mow up the 666 heavens alone,
and i have been standing here too long                                  asking god to play fetch with me,
        the devil simpers saying,       it’s over glorified             like the super-bowl, and death, and columnists,

i am growing at the pace of an amoeba (əˈmiːbə/) noun;         altering my design, primarily
by extending finger-like projections of protoplasmic ambitions,
                found in every lineage of eukaryotic organisms like a man learning to un-love,
        if that sort of a unit exists,             learning to un-pray, if only we are too intellectual,
and only sometimes do we wonder                     often                     if blasphemy is sacrosanct,

the behaviourists say it is because of faulty conditioning,
                                and we become pavlov’s dog in response to being fed
    wetting ourselves                    even before the potent stimulus is in congruence
with a neural stimulus,

just this morning i let the bomb explode in my bedroom,             retracting my soared pseudopods,
the osmotic pressure letting me expel the excess water from the cell,
    i have let the sensation of an ocean linger in between my legs since,
a taxon remained in use                  asking me if i would practice sati for the self i married into,

the genus amiba (from the greek amoibè, meaning "change"),
                                                                        - we do not change, we die.

Tanya Singh is the Founder & Editor-in-Chief of The Cerurove. Their work has appeared, or is forthcoming in Literary Orphans, Black Napkin Press, The Slag Review, Star 82 Review, among others. They live in India.